Christina, Are You There?!

Everyone loves a good scam story when it's not about them, right? I mean my friends just get a kick out of it when I tell them about my Nigerian scam. Long story short, I sent the digital camera I won from The View (don't ask!) over to Nigeria because of some eBay scam. It was my own fault. My first clue should have been this “Adewale George Francis” character didn't have a New York address! Whatever.. I love telling that story!

Anyways, there has been a scam going around Facebook for a few months now. Someone you are friends with on Facebook has their password hacked along with some other personal information of theirs. Then the scammer will contact their friends pretending to be stranded in London while asking for money.

Not so bad right? Well, apparently people are falling for this! Facebook released a statement to The Business Insider a few months back saying, "This is a very low volume attack, affecting only a small number of users, but the potential impact to an individual user is high so we're taking it very seriously."

Who just wires someone they knew from pre-school $900 through Western Union?! Well, my friends... I was just asked! I loved every second of it. In fact, I haven’t had as much fun since Ski-Lo’s "I Wish" randomly came on my iPod yesterday. Below is the transcript of my conversation with a Facebook friend I don't even know from college (delete!).

4:18pm Christina

Hey..

are you there?

4:18pm Ryan

hi?

4:19pm Christina

how you doing?

4:19pm Ryan

good yourself?

4:19pm Christina

I’m not too good here

4:19pm Ryan

sorry to hear tranny

4:19pm Christina

I’m in a deep mess right now

I’m stuck in london

got mugged at gunpoint

4:20pm Ryan

sexy!!!!!

4:20pm Christina

all credit cards, cash, and cell phone gone

4:21pm Ryan

that is SO hot. go girl!

4:21pm Christina

are you kidding me?

4:21pm Ryan

no. it’s just funny because the SAME shit just happen to me. I’m over in Nigeria with my pal Adewale Clickclock who I met while studying abroad.. We were out one night and I got mugged. I was JUST going to ask you if you could have some money wired to me?! Christina, I need your help. I’ll provide you with the account number for depositing..

4:22pm Ryan

Xtina are you there?

Adewale is totally gonna put me on the black market. I need you! *wink*

Christina is offline 4:22pm

Headline of the Day 10.22.09

"Court Deals Blow to Owner of Huge Apartment Complex"

-NYTimes

P.S. I wonder what kind of broker’s fee Lohan is willing to pay?

You Don't Own Me

Excuse me, how did I miss last night’s edition of The Joy Behar Show?! Joy had on a bunch of D-list celebrity ex-wives and I’m totally ok with that. They all brought the drama! I mean this should be of no surprise since one of my favorite movies (besides Selena) is The First Wives Club. When they do that song at the end? DEAD!

The all-star lineup last night included: Mary Jo Eustace (original Tori Spelling), Marla Maples (one of Donald Trump’s previous weave groomers), Dina Matos (ex-wife of Jersey Governor and truck stop bathroom-loving Jim McGreevey) and Kristin Armstrong (did she get the other ball in the divorce?). Joy took to Twitter to describe the episode as "divorcepalooza", which I think is totally wrong. It should have been described as "PleaseCastUsInAnExWivesBravoRealityShow-Palooza".

They all talked about how their marriages ended, the heartbreak they felt, the first time they saw their ex with someone else, and womp womp. I have to say that Mary Jo Eustace (I keep wanting to say Buttafuoco?) was my favorite. On finding out that Dean McDermott was going to leave her for Tori Spelling she said, "you've known her three weeks? I actually thought it was a joke. I thought I was being punked. But it was true." You thought you had it bad didn’t you, Matos? Sorry, Tori Spelling ALWAYS trumps the "my husband is gay" card. Also, Mary Jo totally gets the book title of the year award: "Divorce Sucks: What to Do When Irreconcilable Differences, Lawyers Fees, and Your Ex Husband's Hollywood Wife Makes You Miserable".

Below is a clip of Joy asking the real questions like, "do you think it’s better if the guy just dies?!" (I totally lied. It’s my favorite old lady movie song e-v-e-r!)

P.S. Was Linda Hogan and Denise Richards busy?

The Love Boat

An Italian heterosexual couple (boring!) is suing a cruise line for a loss of satisfaction because they were not informed their vessel was hosting "Italy’s first all homosexual cruise". First of all, what’s the problem here?! Second, I ain’t buying what you’re selling.

Over at the Daily Mail there are some screenshots of the itinerary along with some fabulous pictures in anticipation of the event, Revuelta, and I am literally dead. Lets pretend that they didn’t see the man in booty shorts, or the various drag queens (they are so not tranny worthy), I still can’t believe how they could miss the clues in the daily activities listed. What straight couple wants to go to a "Hawaiian Party" in the Mama Mia Room (!!) with GoGo Boys at 1am or better yet a nice cocktail the following evening at the "GAYDAY Party"?

Personally, I think the first clue should have been that breakfast wasn’t served before 10am. With all the couple swapping, poppers, illegal drugs smuggled onboard (must I tell you how?) and Liza karaoke, what gay would be up before then?

The best part? The unnamed couple’s lawyer says, "'My clients were also left embarrassed because among the passengers were people they knew and had no idea that were gay, which was uncomfortable for all parties." I think the only loss of satisfaction was felt from the husband. You know he totally set this up. "Oh honey, I had NO idea there would be 1500 hot scantily clad men here?!.. Sweety I can’t believe we ran into my poker buddies down in the sauna! What are the odds?!"

The couple are reportedly taking the cruise line to court and asking for £2,800 compensation

P.S. I’ve been on my fair share of heterosexual cruises, and the "Hairy Chest" competition seems pretty gay to me. Half naked.. booty shaking.. bending over? That’s just a Friday night here!

Twitpic of the Day - 10.15.09

http://twitpic.com/ln6kl

“If you've never seen a 10pac this is what it looks like!!! :)"

- Adrienne Bailon

Flying "High" On Lunesta

Apparently Ruth Bader Ginsburg is feeling like one of the Kardashian sisters ever since Sonia Sotomayor (latinos love a good "S") took the "6" on over to the Supreme Court. Just when she thought that her winning battle with cancer was sure to keep the headlines a few weeks longer, Sonia tangoed on in and stole her thunder like a scene from the Telemundo version of Mean Girls. Well Ginsy has had enough. Commence "Operation K Kardashian." (reader’s choice!)

Last night, Baby Ruth was all hopped up on sleeping pills and cold medicine allegedly causing her to fall out of her seat on the airplane (LOVE!!!). The NYTimes says, "doctors attributed her symptoms to a reaction caused by the combination of a prescription sleeping aid and an over-the-counter cold medication. She was admitted overnight for observation and was released this morning."

PLEASE. That is such a lie. Ginsy was just jealous that Juanita SoliS (S!!!) was getting all the attention. I mean the woman is 76 years old. I’m quite positive she has no trouble falling asleep. Isn’t that one of old peoples things? They like Activia commercials, hard candies, and are known to fall asleep during things like watching a movie, driving, sitting in any type of chair, etc..

Hopefully the Supreme Court is investing in some of those child safety caps for the Tylenol PM. We got a feisty one on our hands!

TayTay's Coming To Town

Taylor Swift is riding her "white horse" (I know that was lame, but it’s too early) all the way to New York City to host SNL Nov 7th. Is anyone excited? I can get onboard with the possibilities.

The WNBA's teen sensation told the Associated Press, "I've been thinking about skit ideas for a long time. There are definitely some hilarious things that have happened to me over the past couple of months that I think will be pretty substantial skits."

I hope this means that they are going to have a Kanye West skit. They have to, right? Maybe she’ll go the Justin Timberlake SNL route and tell everyone how she lost her black cherry to Joe Jonas.

I also wouldn’t be surprised if Kellie Pickler shows up and plays another one of her pranks on my TayTay. I think it’s cute that the two of them are friends and all, but it seems as if someone is benefitting more from that friendship... and it’s not the bucktoothed glamour goddess. However, I can get behind this lesbian nonsexual love affair because it produced Miss Googly-Eyed’s "Best Days of Your Life". Below is the glittery video.

Quote of the Day 10.10.09

President Obama:

"It is a privilege to open for Lady Gaga. I've made it!"

-Human Rights Campaign dinner 10.10.09

Photo Credit: Hello Kitty Hell

How You Doin?

Wendy Williams had Chris Rock and Nia Long over on her show today to talk about their new documentary Good Hair. You know he’s bringing the lol’s with this shit, but I have to ask what the hell a man with a shaved head has to offer in a documentary centered around weaves, wigs, and hair pieces? My money is on sassy black jokes and I am 100% ok with that.

Now to the real story... Wendy Williams' hair!! In honor of Good Hair the 8ft tranny posted pictures from her childhood on her blog today. Now I have a lot of thoughts racing through my mind while looking over these pictures. First, is her mom white/asian?! Second, Wendy’s quoted as saying, "I always wore my hair loose for picture day." Um, do you see those ends? Even as a white boy I know that is some "bun" hair if you’re not using anything with it. Next, is there some rule that every little black girl has got to take some pictures with those classic pigtails? Even Oprah has one and she could totally erase history if she wanted too, so you know she’s keeping it around like a badge of honor!

I don’t think Wendy looks all that bad with her natural look, but if she wasn’t a "wiggy" (p.s. is she really trying to make that happen?) then she’d be less of a drag queen and therefore useless to society. Below is a clip of her trademark "How You Doin?" because I am simply obsessed with it for no other reason then a black girl being a black girl.

Bursting At The Seams #2

• The Chanel Barnyard

• Excuse me, you took those surveys ONLY at fa(tty)st food restaurants?

• Coop’s at the Gun Show

• Paula Deen has earned her spot in Hell

• Looks like there is a new spot on the Eagle’s cheerleaders opening up!

• "No Joysee" = Racist?

• I have an issue with your body, Serena.

• Say my name, Say my name.. All 12 of them

• Someone is angling for a new weight-loss endorsement deal

• Golden shower hotspots

• Governor’s Island taken over by hipsters

• Is Rihanna being ironic with all this black?

• Lourdes being cute while simaltaneously covering up the uni